Monday, July 19, 2010

I WANT TO KEEP YOU FOREVER ~ BUT YOU'RE STARTING TO STINK!

I WANT TO KEEP YOU FOREVER - BUT YOU'RE STARTING TO STINK!

How could they do this to you after you've spilled your guts out to them, trusting them with your darkest secrets and this is how you are rewarded ------ Infidelity? All you need to know is how to take care of your wife, husband, lover, boyfriend, girlfriend, neighbor, room-mate or what or who ever you are so fanatically possessing over. Revenge! Yeah that will teach them, but how can you get rid of the body? I know it and you know it but you, you sick, perverted, sicko want to keep a memento ---- Yeah, right. First off you can't wear a necklace of their teeth around you neck, the filling are a sure give away that you didn't pick up an antique necklace last summer at the swap meet. Not only that it will clash with your Saint Christoper's medal. The Vietnam war is over and you are not old enough to fought in it so you can't justify having human ears dangling off your key chain.

Thanks to technology you have a solution ---- Lets make their corpse into diamonds. So, first off we need to cremate the body. You can't use the local funeral home to do it for you as they have this messy little thing known as paper work. You will have to do this yourselves by first stuffing old Benedict Arnold, who stole and sold your heart out into a fifty-five gallon metal drum. Five to ten gallons of diesel fuel will also be needed even though it puts out a lot of smoke. Even though you're sensitive to global warning caused by burning hydrocarbons it has to be done. We can offset your feeling by using some hard wood later, sort of like helping keep things green, all natural so to speak. A half rick of good oak fire wood should do the trick, but I would bring along a full rick just to be safe.

I would suggest sitting the barrel up on a sturdy metal rack say about one foot off the ground. Stick about a third of the rick of fire wood under and around the barrel but don't light it yet. First pour five or six gallon of diesel in the barrel stand back as you don't want to scorch your eye brows when you light the diesel. Do not worry about all the popping, cracking and assorted gurgling noises that will come from inside the barrel. Sometimes muscles pop loudly as bodily fluid turn to stream from the heat and burst muscle tissue apart as it escapes into the atmosphere. This noise will lessen as the corpse is fully consumed and most of the moisture is cooked out of your lover.

Once the fire from the diesel dies down I would go ahead and light the fire wood you have stuffed under the barrel. Keep the firewood well stoked under the barrel over the next few hours until your love is fully rendered to a unrecognizable dried lump. If you do this correctly there shouldn't be anything left in the barrel except a dark grayish-black dried clump of burnt something or other and particles of whitish bones and teeth. If there are any metal parts from back screws, leg pins or other assorted foreign objects from medical procedures, now is the time to remove them. All of the material left should be natural and must be crushed up into a very fine power. Bone joints and teeth are really tiresome and vexing to say the least and in most cases muscle power just want do. To complete the task you will need a good ball pen hammer, dust mask, plastic bag, or a cardboard box like the free ones you get at the post office to ship priority mail in, a bottle of vodka to pass the time and quite your nerves will suffice while pulverizing the chunks.

Unless your Daddy Warbucks or Bill Gates this part will be a little difficult for most but with a little ingenuity and determination it can be over come. You need to collect several ounces of the crushed ash place it in a crucible that can withstand a tremendous amount of heat. You can pick one up at your local chemical supply company or foundry supply company. We need a furnace that we can put the crucible in and then bring the temperature up to just a little over five thousand degrees, Fahrenheit. We want to burn out, or oxidize all the material that makes up the ash leaving only carbon. Once this process of oxidization has given us a small quantity of pure carbon as we continue the heating process for two or three weeks until the pure carbon turns to graphite.

Now for the fun part of you twisted, sick, freak. We take the hot graphite from the crucible and place it is a special made heavy form, or core with a metal catalyst, so we can begin the process of making a diamond seed crystal. The from or core as it is known as is then put into a massive diamond press. This press will apply about eight hundred thousand pounds per square inch of pressure on the graphite seed. Over the next few weeks the the temperature of the core has to be brought up to around two-thousand five-hundred degrees Fahrenheit. In about four to six weeks we will let the core cool down and when opened your dearest will be a rough diamond crystal.

This is so exciting seeing how we are almost there. First off you need to find a reputable diamond cutter at this point and have him or her cut your rough diamond crystal. Once cut or faceted into a beautiful stone you can have it mounted into a nice gold mount.

Here is the most crucial advise that I can give you. Keep you mouth shut about where you got the crushed ash and don't brag about getting away with murder. If you luck out you will fall in love again and when you do you can set that really nice little diamond into a new engagement ring and give it to your new lover. Hey it is practical and it will save you some money at the same time.

An as someone once said, “Live long and proper.”





Now for the Disclaimer - This blog does not suggest that anyone should do anything that would be considered illegal. This is a blog for writers to use for research, and as a comical relief of a very serious problem. If you do not understand this fully, or you think this give you the rights to commit an illegal act----you're one sick bastard, and you should seek competent mental counseling immediately.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

LYE, ain't just for cleaning out your sewer drains

LYE, ain't just for cleaning out your sewer drains

Lye, Pot Ash, or Caustic Soda also known chemically as Sodium Hydroxide (NaOH),is a great product for getting rid of those pesky problems around the house. For this discussion will we refer to Sodium Hydroxide by its more common name, Lye.

Lye has been around for years and mankind has greatly benefited from it caustic action on different products. I myself use it as a metal cleaner as it works extremely well in removing grease, oil, or other smudges on freshly ground metal, prior to final finish.

A Garrett Snuff glass full of pelleted lye near the front door was a common sight in the 18th and 19th centuries. Opening the door to an intruder or stranger could have terrible coincidences when communication sometimes took days to relay. A stubborn robber rapist or bully was sure to struggle with both eyes and his mouth full of lye. The end results would most likely be partial or complete blindness and a best case scenario it would cause death from ingestion of the lye. An early method of murdering a person was to pour lye down their throats. Excerpts from actual case reports show that it was a horrific, slow and painful death. It is believed by many that John Wilkes Booth escaped the burning barn in Washington DC, after he killed President Lincoln and later committed suicide by drinking a glass of lye in Enid, Oklahoma, in the early part of the 19th Century.

Lye is also used in the making of cloth, paper, soaps, cleaning product, crystal-methamphetamine and a world of other product. Lye is a great product to help rid yourself of that ever bloating and now stinking body in your basement. Not only is that corpse a health concern for you and others it will draw vermin and even your neighbor's dog. Also when the long arm of the law finds your ex-wife's boyfriend laid out on the Craftman's work bench you are going to be in shall we say, deep doo-doo!

As a teenager I have used lye to remove the excess flesh (tissue) and hair from numerous animal skulls that I have pickup as road kills over the years for my science class. I also have used lye to clean the tissue and grease from large leg bones of both cattle and deer. By cleaning the oil and tissue from the bones, I can then dye them with chemicals and use the clean, dyed bone for knife handles.

If you have a big enough pot like a steel barrel you can mix water and lye together and then heating it to approximately 300* F, or a good rolling boil a body can be rendered down in 12 to 14 hours. Using a pressure cooker such as they have down at the canning plant a human body will be rendered to liquid in about 4 or 6 hours. In both cases you need to strain out the bones, loose teeth, and occasionally the hair before you flush the remains down the drain and letting the cities' digestion tanks at the sewer plant take care of the soup. Warning big chunks will plug up drains and city sewer lines and this ain't good people. The poor man's method is to just dump the corpse into a shallow grave and pouring a few pounds of lye on the body. Lye will draw natural moisture from the surrounding soil and this will facilitate the chemical action needed. I would suggest however you spray the lye with a water hose if available as this will greatly enhance success in decomposition and turning the tissue into a slimy, unrecognizable clump of goop.

Later I will post more on using lye and it benefits for cleaning your Acne pitted face and how it is used to in relieving leg cramp at night. Until then, a can of RED DEVIL Lye is only about $3.49 a can at your grocery store.


Coming in a couple of days, Check out getting rid of your abusive husband, wife, neighbor, boss or who ever is the focus of your rage using "Quick Lime."  Damn, it is good stuff. 

  
Now for the Disclaimer - This blog does not suggest that anyone should do anything that would be considered illegal. I do not even know why I should have to write this, but my lawyer said the world is made up of malcontents looking for a way to sue someone. Anyway this is a blog for writers to use for research, people who want to know about and as a comical relief of a very serious problem. If you do not understand this fully, or for any reason you think this give you the rights to commit an illegal act ---- You're one sick bastard and you should seek competent mental counseling immediately.



CANNIBALISM ~ Hey this taste like fried chicken!

CANNIBALISM ~ Hey this taste like fried chicken!

Eating ones victims is a simple and effective means of disposing of that pesky body. A great book on this subject was written by the late Peter Hathaway Capstick, entitled MANEATERS. Everything I have read about human flesh is that it is sweet, almost the texture or consistency of pork. Most cultures world wide that at one time condoned or still do excuse the eating of human flesh do so with certain reverence. Just as animal eat vital organs first for the nourishment, cannibals have certain traits or protocols they follows. Hearts, livers, and brains are reserved for the more important members of the conclave with brains being the most prized. During WW11 in the Pacific some members of the Japanese military practiced a code of Bushido where they ate unlucky allied prisoners. Read the true accounts of this practice in “Fly Boys” it is very revealing.

Closer at home a more shocking or real look at modern day cannibalism which as I say is a way to dispose of your victims. One twisted cannibalistic, murdering pedophile was Jeffrey Lionel Dahmer, a homosexual with a taste for the flesh of African and Asian men.

From a Wikipedia site we find that Jeffrey Lionel Dahmer (May 21, 1960 – November 28, 1994) was an serial killer and sex offender. Dahmer murdered 17 men and boys – many of whom were of African or Asian. Dahmer enjoyed both a lifestyle of necrophilia and cannibalism between 1978 and 1991. The majority of his murders occurring between 1987 and 1991 and his murders were particularly gruesome involving rape, torture and dismemberment. On November 28, 1994, he was beaten to death by an inmate at the Columbia Correctional Institution where he had been incarcerated. Someone in the system put him out in the prisons general population and he got whacked in two or three days. One of the other malcontents beat him to death with a mop handle. Man that would tenderize you up, huh?

It not just men that eat humans. Every wacko environmentalist, tree hugging lackey of the left will goes total bat-guano nuts if you say anything about a wolf eating a human. Well, ruck up Buckwheat here is a report to cause their panties to wad up in their thinking canal.

(Alaska)
KTUU Channel 2 ^ | 3/11/2010 | Channel 2 News staff
Posted on 03/11/2010 7:19:47 PM PST by ASOC
ANCHORAGE, Alaska -- An autopsy conducted Thursday shows that wolves  likely killed an itinerant teacher in the southwest Alaska village of Chignik Lake, according to the Alaska State Troopers. Village residents found the body of Candice Berner, 32, a short distance from town on Monday. Multiple injuries due to animal mauling caused Berner's death, trooper Col. Audie Holloway said, referencing a report from the state medical examiner's office. Chignik Lake is in very rural Alaska (The Bush) - the village has been surrounded by a large wolf pack for some time. The woman killed (at 149 CM and under 50Kg) was a local special Ed teacher out running on a gravel road - wearing her iPod and not a 357 Mag..... She didn't stand a chance, 3 or more 70 kg wolves attacked from behind. The autopsy showed she was still alive as the pack dragged her from the road to begin eating. The Troopers are sending a chopper to "thin out" the wolf packs.

A passing motorist on a snow mobile witnessed the carnage and ran the wolves off by shooting at them with a rifle he had on his machine. He stated the woman was dead when he got to her as the wolves had eaten most of her intestines. I have a great story about Alaskan wolves tracking and holding a hunter up in a tree for over five days. I will write it up someday.



The bad part about leaving a body outside to be eaten by the local wild life is a real (quote) adventure (unquote) that I witnessed. A boyhood friend of mine who I spend many hours playing cowboys, army or camping out in the back yard with lived only a few blocks from my house. His parents were divorced and I spend many hours at his grandparents' house where he lived. His grandfather had a small fishing bait store that sat on the highway leading to the lake. The area was semi-country with large open spaces between houses. Well one day while playing at my friends house, his grandfather came out and told us to find out what the dog was chewing on and go bury it. Seems the dog had been chewing and rolling on a stinky, meat morsel he had drug up from the woods. The dog would come welcome new customers when they drove up to the bait shop, and the smell from him rolling on the chunk of what ever was making people flee. My friend and I get a shovel and go to find the chew toy that Big Red had been playing with the last few days. Finding the doggy treat was surprising to say the least. At first we could not figure out what we were looking at until one of us took a stick and scraped away some of the lawn clipping and oak leaves stuff to its surface of the semi-round chunky treat. It had teeth?????? It scared the heck out of us two young pecker woods and we went screaming across the yard like little girls running from a snake. A phone call brought the cops, local sheriff, and state police. It did not take long to find the body in the field across the street from the bait store. Seems the possums, coons, dogs, domestic house cats and assorted of othervwild vermin had scattered what was left of the corpse. The man's identity was made from the half dozen upper teeth still in the meat ball. With the price of gold now, my friend and I should have spent a few minutes checking his teeth I guess, but that is hind sight and I should have also bought Coke-a-Cola and Wal-Mart stock while I am lamenting.